Descents

“Then he said to them, ‘My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.’”– Matthew 26:38

Scripture Reading: Matthew 26:36-46

This is a difficult Scripture to read. Here we see Jesus pouring out His anguished human heart. But knowing that He is also fully God, it’s terrifying to consider what loss and pain Jesus must be catching a glimpse of as He utters these words.

And in the midst of His anguish, all Jesus asks of His disciples is that they stay awake to pray with Him for a couple of hours. After three years of walking dusty roads together, sharing meals, and camping under the stars, it seems like they would have been more like brothers than friends. And yet they fail Jesus that night. Falling asleep. Not once, not twice, but three times.

I wonder if that sleep, which on the surface appears to be laziness or apathy, doesn’t actually hint at something else—the disciples’ own agony. They knew something momentous was coming but it didn’t make any sense or match any of their expectations. Jesus, the Messiah, the Son of God, is repeatedly telling them that He is about to die a terrible death at the hands of angry men.

Remembering that the disciples are only human, I try to imagine myself in their place. I would probably be formulating an escape plan or trying desperately to prepare myself to stand boldly alongside Jesus in the attack that is coming. But Jesus isn’t trying to escape, and He has made it pretty clear that there is no hope of defending Him from His attackers.

Talking about this scripture in our small group one day, one of our friends compared it to his experience of war. He said that many of the soldiers in his unit would sleep on the plane as they were being flown in for a mission. It was the way they coped with the strain of the moment.

Suddenly, considering the overwhelming fear the disciples must be facing, sleep feels easier to understand. When we descend toward the valleys of life, with the uncertainty, pain, and loss that they bring, our footing becomes dangerous. Uphill climbs are exhausting, but the strain of a steep descent actually takes more out of us. Which is what seems to be captured in this Scripture.

Here, we witness Jesus’s anguished descent into the valley of the shadow of death. It is a steep path; having been welcomed as a hero on Sunday only to be arrested four days later. And it is made more treacherous by His lack of companionship, His disciples sleeping rather than praying with Him. But Jesus’s desire to do His Father’s will draws Him down the path. Like a hiker who stops leaning back, Jesus gives in to the gravity of God’s will. He allows His body to pick up momentum with each step and embraces the collision that will ultimately occur in the valley below.

It’s only with our eyes on Him that we can wake up from the anxious sleep of an overwhelmed disciple. It’s Jesus’s love and companionship that enable us to willingly follow His footsteps, even when they lead us into the valley.

Prayer: Lord Jesus, help us to keep our eyes on You, even when the path is steep and the footing is dangerous. Help us to feel Your hand in ours, drawing us forward. Amen.