Attachment Love

In Resilient, John Eldredge writes about attachment love, as the force that moves our soul toward a loving bond with God. He re-quotes Jim Wilder’s conversation about attachment love with Dallas Willard in the last weeks of his life. Wilder’s summary: “The only kind of love that helps the brain learn better character is attachment love. The brain functions that determine our character are most profoundly shaped by who we love. Changing character, as far as the brain is concerned, means attaching in new and better ways.”

This is a different theology from the one that I have grown up learning and believing. So much of my church experience has been about figuring out the rules and disciplining myself to follow them. I have often felt such tremendous pressure to ‘do for’ God that it has been hard to find time to ‘be with’ Him.

It is a subtle distortion. This focus on changing our character in order to please God, becoming an obstacle to our relationship with Him. We wear ourselves out trying to be better—more loving and patient and joyful in suffering (just to name a few)—and yet our better self eludes us.

Perhaps this Advent season we could try a new thing. We could seek an experience of God as love, above all else. And leave the character change to Him.